HAVE FAITH IN YOUR FAITH
-Asit Ghosh
In
early 1995, I came in contact with an interesting person. He introduced himself
as Dr. Rattan Kumar and lived somewhere at South extension. He joined my 2nd
batch of 14 sessions Tuff Trak Leadership Course (now UXL). He hardly made any
impact as a devout participant or a great speaker during the course. However, looking
back, I almost perfectly know now why he came. I won’t ever forget a couple of
things about this unassuming doctor.
He
would come early in all my sessions; wear a smile and a stylish suit. He would
carry a flower bouquet in his hand in every class and ignore my instruction
that students were not allowed to bring anything for the instructor in the
class. He would silently place the bouquet on my head table and take his seat.
On the day of graduation, the 18th February 1995, Rattan Kumar
carried a book in his hand and presented to me. It was a saintly book which I
often saw in the wheelers at the railway station. You cannot miss the face of
the saint on the cover. It is kind of an anchor. Rattan told me, “Asit now the
course is over so let me gift this book to you. Promise me, you will read it. The
book is for you and it will change your life.” Though these were not his exact
words but I retrieve the gist of what Rattan had said from my own memory.
Rattan Kumar painted my name spreading through the front inside cover and the
corresponding blank right page. (The exact scan is displayed here). Rattan’s
written and spoken words however remained vivid in my mind:
As
an extension of my training business, I sold books to our students and
therefore maintained a cabinet full of books. I shifted places and in that process
lost hundreds of books. Later, the book business had to be closed. Through the
next 12 years, I shifted my work-base from Delhi to Chandigarh and then back to
Delhi again. I also changed my residences a couple of times in both the places.
I ran my business amidst ups and downs but finally faced serious financial and
emotional setbacks. I decided to stop my work and shift to a serene place to
introspect, study and meditate. I shifted to Santiniketan with my mother, the
place of Rabindranath Tagore in 2008.
I read
many spiritual literatures, wrote my experiences sitting under the trees of our
rented garden house, listened to songs, heard the chirping of birds, and cycled
through the leafy lanes and tribal villages. I cherished the feeling that some
of the greatest minds of the last century came to this serene beautiful town to
meet Tagore and learn from his school and University. I had my best time spent
there.
One
of those days in Santiniketan, in late 2008, I got a call from one of my old
clients to conduct a seminar in Delhi. I boarded the Delhi-bound Rajdhani Express
from Durgapur and found my seat across one Mr. Tiwari a leading book seller
from Kolkata. Tiwari was young but there was a glowing aura in his bearded
face. He asked, “Do you read?” Knowing my interest in books, Tiwari told me
that a book changed his life and pointing out to the book in his hand covered
in brown paper he added that he was reading it for the second time. As he
handed me the book I found it to be the same title which Rattan gave me almost
14 years ago. Strangely, some intuition from deep within was constantly telling
me, even before I opened the book, it was going to be Rattan’s book only.
Rattan Kumar’s smiling face also flashed from my heart. All the coincidences
struck me with wonder. It seemed so inevitable. I was literally stunned. I must
mention that the reference of that book came up in various occasions when some
of my very enlightened friends like Abahy Mishra also mentioned about the book.
Every time then, I recalled Rattan Kumar’s appeal to me and I felt guilty for
not reading the book. Tiwari was emotional. He shared that he was travelling to
Varanasi only to meet the great grandson of Lahiri Mahashay (my master’s
master). Tiwari added that his wife will fly to join him in Varanasi after 2
days as their son’s last examination paper was due. Turning over a few pages of
Tiwari’s book I reached the chapter 29 titled, “Rabindranath Tagore & I…” Gurudev
Tagore has been my ideal. Geetanjali and Tagore-songs happen to be my main
inspiration. I came to Santiniketan to experience Tagore’s divine spirit ever
existing in that serene environment. How I knew in a few days everything would
become crystal clear?
But
where is that book? Is it there, or will I have to get a new one? I wanted to
keep my words given to Rattan Kumar – I must read the book. I instantly called
Chaitali Nandy, my colleague who stayed back at Santiniketan to take care of my
mother in my absence. I requested her to go all out and search the book out
from my vast book cabinet which we had painstakingly transported from Delhi.
Chaitali called me back in two hours to say: the book is traced. Here is the
image of the very book Rattan gave me:
The
first task of mine after returning to Santiniketan was to start reading AOY. These
days, I am reading the book my 4th time. Neither Rattan nor Tiwari
was wrong. My life was changed. In 2009, I became a member of SRF/YSS. I
participated in many retreats and stayed many times in our Ranchi Ashram, where
Paramhansaji spent his days in spiritual ecstasy and bliss. I sat for long
hours below the Lichi tree, where our Guru meditated. I passed the test to
become a Kriyaban on 5 January 2011. Before joining SRF/YSS, I had done many
satsangs with saints of many missions and ashrams but I found in my Guru my
ultimate inspiration for spirituality. All my confusions were removed and I
realized the purpose of my life. I returned to Delhi to continue my work which
I left unfinished. I felt my Guru wants me to complete this karmic cycle. A
staunch non-veg and a mad fish-lover, I turned myself into a full vegetarian
(Gurudev permits us to have eggs). Amidst numerous struggles and ups and downs
I always felt my Guru’s divine blessings. I am filled with his omnipresence. He
sees me, guides me and checks me up at every step. He said, he took my
responsibility as his disciple and so he does. I witness his miracles through
every episode of my life as I go through my pains, ordeals, sufferings, joys
and achievements.
Let
me share two of his most recent miracles here:
After
my mother passed away on 29 May, I have vacated the room in the Senior
Citizen’s Home in Rohini, which I shared with her. Now I eat, sleep and work in
my office. As I had a fresh setback in my business, like every time, I rose to
take charge with greater vigor. I am about to launch a new international
project. This demanded herculean toils and I read, research and study for about
80 hours-a-week (mind you, I neither recommend nor mean to continue this mode
for the rest of my life for I shall soon settle down to just 4-6 hours a week).
Incidentally, I have disturbed my routine significantly over the last couple of
months and decidedly stalled my energy exercises and yoga on account of a host
of unforeseen financial and emotional crises. I however know I shall return to
order.
My
friend and partner Kapil Abrol (also an alumnus) has been quite upset since he
saw my constantly swollen feet. Kapil knows well that I refrain from taking any
medicine until I face the extreme. He is also aware of my reservation to
consult doctors. So he discreetly asked his elder brother, who is a physician,
to check me up. Dr Sandeep Abrol came and sat with me for an hour discussing
matters of common spiritual interest (he staunchly follows the Baha’i faith and
loves talking about it) before revealing the real purpose of his coming. I lie down
as he checks my BP. He finds my BP index
to be 165: 115. The alarm bell rang. Soon comes his prescription: medicines
must, travel banned and only rest. Kapil was polite in his request in the
beginning but his strictures in mobile messages started hitting. I was in a
corner. I wrote to him firmly that I would rather prefer to die with faith than
to live with medicines all my life. I tried to assure him saying, I would be
healed only by following my Guru’s ways. I further pleaded that I have
restarted my regular morning walks, exercises and yoga and so I shall soon be
alright. But, Kapil won’t give up but ensure at any cost that I start the course
of medicines for at least a week.
I
was quite disturbed. I helplessly looked at the smiling picture of my Guru in
my mind. The following day, Kapil gets a new BP machine door-delivered from
Amazon. He requests the office staff to make sure that my BP is checked at
regular intervals. In the meanwhile I had almost prepared my mind to give up my
resolve of not taking the medicines. I wrote to Kapil, ‘Affection weakens the
spirit: it seems you are determined to make my ‘biology of belief’ surrender to
the lordship of those tablets’.
This
time Dayashankar, our colleague, asked me to lie down to checks BP. In past, he
had his stint in paramedical. Guess
what? My BP smiled at 120:60. I closed my eyes to look at my Gurudev’s picture,
he was smiling as usual. All the staff members then checked their BPs primarily
to know if it was another faulty machine. Theirs BPs were right up to their own
normal orders. The next day Dayashankar brought another machine from his wife’s
hospital (she is a staff nurse) and made me lie again for a check-up. It was
again 120:60. He rechecked on the newly purchased machine. The result was
steady: 120:60 Needless to say, I am practicing my Kriya yoga, enjoying my long
walks in the morning and evening and working 10 hours a day and, of course, am
without medicines.
The
next episode also happened almost simultaneously. For the last few months I
have been trying to locate a joint-venture partner who would be technically
sound to help me launch my online training business. I have invested enough
funds in the JV groups and other premium agencies to kick start my online
project. I know I am on the right track but so far none of the proposals made
sense. I was becoming restless. A technically sound resource, preferably an
individual, who is ideally a dynamic technopreneur whose prime goal was not to
be a trainer or public speaker, would best suit my need. A week before I
received a message from a British tech, who happened to visit my site and being
impressed by my work offered to set-up a possible alliance to work together. I
too was deeply impressed going through all the links the gentleman had
forwarded. It seemed that the man had all the acumen and attitudes to fit my
bill. Both of us felt a positive vibration throughout our first chat via Facebook
messenger.
It
was only during the conclusive part of our chat when my new friend wrote the
following exact words in his message to me: “I am very open and transparent as
I live by spiritual principles (SRF/YSS). You can trust me.” It was so pleasant
to know both of us belong to the same spiritual legacy and disciples of the
same Guru.
A
current of joy instantly flowed through my body and mind. I invariably felt
that it is my beloved and divine Guru who has been guiding me through all my
ups and downs of life and was soaked with gratitude. Both Gabriel & I
didn’t take much time to accurately feel deep in our hearts that we were
destined to meet to begin a new journey together.
If
you have faith in our faith, God offers His testimony.
***
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